Wednesday, 22 June 2011

Breastfeeding - What They Never Prepare You For

Apparently it's Breastfeeding Awareness Week or some such thing.  Anyway this occurred to me earlier and it seemed rather apropo.  I love breastfeeding.  It's the best thing in the world for me.  But that doesn't mean it doesn't have it's drawbacks...

  • You will never know if you've gotten pregnant again because your periods don't return for ages anyway.
  • You will live in a bra for however long you choose to breastfeed for or sleep in a wet bed.  Seriously - the only time you will take it off is to have a shower.
  • Secluded spots will become no 1 on your priority list when deciding where  to go.  Unless you're the sort of person who doesn't mind flopping it out anywhere.
  • At some point you WILL end up feeding your baby in a public loo.  I defy you not to be in some restaurant/posh place where you really feel it is totally inappropriate to breastfeed.
  • Be prepared to one day end up soaking wet - your nipple pads have moved or are just full up.  And you just have to put up with smelling of milk for the rest of the day.
  • Somebody, someday, will get an unintended flash of your boob.  Can't be helped.
  • Your baby will feed like an angel at home but when you are out and need them to latch on and stay latched on else show your nipple to all and sundry, then is when they'll decided to play the hokey cokey - in, out, in, out, shake it all about!
  • Once your milk lets down, the baby doesn't have to put much effort into sucking - it tends to shoot out of its own accord.  This means either your baby will have a sudden choking fit as half a pint of milk pours down its throat or it will come off your boob and your milk will shoot halfway across the room and hit your unsuspecting toddler in the eye!
  • You will never look sexy.  Breastfeeding bras are not glamorous.
  • You will permanently have a one boob look.  See previous point!
  • Breastfeeding a teething baby hurts!
  • Your last breastfeed will make you cry.  Whatever the reason, nothing is more emotional and sad than stopping breastfeeding.
For all that - for me, it's the best thing in the world and I wouldn't change it for anything.  But I do wish I'd been warned!

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