Sunday, 26 June 2011

MUMenTUM - Such a failure



Yep, that's how I feel.  A total failure.  I'll tell you why.

This week I put on 2lbs.  Totally expected as I didn't stick to the diet and ate donuts, chocolate, pastries etc.  So of course I put on 2lbs.  But I went to fat class anyway to try and get some encouragement.  And I did.  But there is one aspect of group slimming that I find very negative, and it's all in my head.

I have to be the best.

This isn't just a slimming thing.  It's a life thing.  I had to get As at school - I used to ask for spelling tests in primary school because it was something I was good at (and then wondered why the kids hated me).

Week after week I've had Slimmer of the Week, even Slimmer of the Month, which I felt a bit of a fraud having as I'm breast feeding which helps with the slimming.  I've now lost 1st 1.5lb in 10 weeks.  Averaged about 2lbs a week.  But on Wednesday a guy came to group, second week in, he's lost 10lbs.  Do you know how long it took me to lose 10lb??!!  And then my friend who I took to fat class, and I know has a much higher BMI than me, lost 8lbs in a first week.  Fantastic for her!  Really pleased for her.  But I've failed.  I'm not the best anymore.  People are going to overtake me on my weight loss journey.  I'm going to be going to fat class for ever and I'm always going to be fat.

I know I've hit my wall and I've got to push through it, and I am trying sooooo hard to get back on track and keep going.  Tell me I'm not mad and I'm not the only one to feel like this?

I've started and failed at so many diets, when I got to 1 stone I thought 'Yay, I can do this'.  Now all my negative thoughts about dieting have come back and I'm convinced I'll fail.  I have to get through this wall.  I'm not even back to pre-pregnancy weight.  Somehow, I've got to grit my teeth and get through it.

On the plus side there isn't any chocolate in the house anymore.  I've eaten it all.




11 comments:

  1. You are most definitely not the only one to feel like this x The last time I went to Slimming world I was always the one going home with slimmer of the week and a bag of fruit. One week a guy joined and every week he lost loads, the leader of the group spent the whole time praising him and I started to feel a failure.

    We have to remember to forget about everyone else at class and loose weight for ourselves. Yes you put 2lb on but next week you can go back and have a loss. You know where you fell off put it behind you and start a fresh.

    You can do it!!

    Love and good luck this week Dianne ;-) x

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  2. How much do you need to lose in total? Are you near your goal yet?

    I have been running #Mumentum for weeks and weeks and only lost weight one week = 2 pounds and I bet I didn't even keep that off.

    So I really need to get serious now. I was an A student but my competitive side doesn't seem to have come out yet.

    I think stress at work the last 6 weeks has seen me eating all the wrong things.

    We can do it together.

    Sorry I posted the linky late.

    Liska xxx

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  3. YOu have put 2lb on but you have also lost over a stone since you started so I think you need to remember that and go easy on yourself, you have done so well so far. Forget about the man, men are a different bred and lose weight differently, he'll hit a wall as well and when he does, you will be beyond yours and can stick the mental 2 fingers up at him. As for your friend, she has done brilliantly but again will she maintain it week on week? Keep going, over a stone is amaaing as far as I am concerned x

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  4. The slimmer of the week award is designed to encourage new members as you always lose more at the start of a diet. Once you are a regular loser (that's a positive thing) you have to let the award go to the newbies. Now you're in it for the real Yummy Mummy award, not the cheap weakly encouragement prize. Get back in your league girl!

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  5. You are not a failure! Look at how much you have lost overall. Stick with it, you can do it and we are all right behind you xx

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  6. You have had some great responses to your post so far and in particular I love what Midlife Singlemum said, she is so, so right.

    The thing is you and I and all of the other MUMenTUM girls are in this together for the long haul, it doesn't matter if we have a slip up, it doesn't matter at all, we just have to draw a line under it and move on.

    You have done brilliantly so far and if you keep on plodding along like I intend to do losing between 1 & 2lb per week by Christmas we will have reached our goals. We have to look at the bigger picture, there are no quick fixes.

    We can do this, it may take us a little longer than some, but we will get there in the end....just keep imagining how good that felling is going to be.

    Have a fab week, shout if you need any support :) x

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  7. You shouldn't be so hard on yourself...you've done brilliantly and weight loss does slow down. Keep it up and look long term like Carole says. It's a marathon not a sprint!! x

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  8. Thanks for all the encouragement. I just felt really crap last week. Feeling a bit more positive now.

    According to my Wii Fit I've got another 6 stone to lose but I think 4 or 5 is more realistic. My Wii Fit weight target would leave me looking a skelebob!

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  9. It's hard to stick to it when you hit that plateau but you've done so well so far losing all that weight you need to keep going. So many times I've joined WW, lost a stone or so, hit the plateau and then slipped back into old ways. This time I'm determined with the support of MUMenTUM to keep going, and you can too.
    x

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  10. Oh boo don't feel so bad. I don't think anyone who is trying to do something about their weight is a failure. I think weightloss for many us is a life long battle. Hopefully with the support of all the lovely ladies around you, you'll pick up and start again. sending you good luck vibes oh and now following you xxx

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  11. You have come so far and are not a failure, everyone has a slip up or two.. Your so much better than me as soon as someone mentions the word diet I reach for the chocolate.. I'm better at losing weight when I'm not trying to diet or put to much pressure on myself. And 2lbs is not bad, you have to remember different people have different bmis and therefore will lose weight at different rates for some it will be easier but for others it will be a harder struggle.. stick with it you will get there x

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