If you have children, you will either have had it by now or it is waiting in the wings. It's the reason there has been radio silence from Conflab Corner. I will now present you with my survival guide for the sickness bug of 2016.
I wrote about my first survival strategy of using a body sock to deal with a sensory seeking Boy. These are further tips I have picked up during the week.
1. Get them to throw up at your sister's house.
My sister provides me respite and has the kids to stop over the weekend. Somehow both girls timed it so they threw up in her house and in her bed - oooops! I did offer to let her have the Boy until he was sick so she could go 3 for 3, but she declined - I don't know why?!
2. Have your washing machine pack up
Obviously when people are being sick what you really want is for your washing machine to pack up. And because nothing says 'mum' like lying on the floor in the utility room trying to unblock the filter of the washing machine 15 minutes after you've been violently sick. Then finding that the machine has probably had it and it's not under any sort of protection plan and having to choose a new washing machine and find the funds to pay for it distract you from all those yukky feelings.
3. Make sure you have an amazing mother
I don't know what I'd do without her. She came round, looked after us all, even stayed the night as me and Missy were still quite poorly.
4. Have amazing mother get everyone up an hour early
Because at 5.30 in the morning, after Bug went in for a cuddle, she misread the time on her phone, thought it said 6.30 and got Boy and Bug up for breakfast. Boy then blamed the rest of his bad day on Bug for waking Nana up. And there's nothing like having tired, stroppy kids when you aren't feeling 100%.
5. Invest in TenaLady or lots of towels
I have sadly learned this week that when you have had three kids then not only is trampolining out of the question, but when you are sick you either need lots of TenaLady to hand or some towels. They never tell you things like this when you become a mum do they? "Oh, by the way, not only will you lose all your dignity, but add to the discomfort of puking the fact that you will at this time lose control of your bladder". Nope, never saw that in What To Expect When You Are Expecting. That's why I'm wildly hoping to win MamaVIB's HelloElvie competition in the aim to somehow reclaim some of my dignity.
So that's my tongue in cheek survival guide. How have you survived the sickness bug?