Wednesday, 2 November 2016
Make the Most of It - You Never Know When It Will Be Your Last
Everyone tells you to make the most of it. Everyone tells you that they grow so fast. What they don't tell you is that you will never know when it will be your last.
I went into a playbarn today to pick something up and realised that we never come here anymore. But I didn't know, last time we went, that it would be the last time.
Last night I had the luxury of my bed to myself. I've had it to myself for a few nights now. The last time you crept in with me - was that the last? The last time I'd have my little hot water bottle snuggled up with me keeping me warm?
We don't read bedtime stories anymore. I can't remember when that stopped. It wasn't a conscious decision, just a natural ending, but now that it's over I miss it. It wasn't my choice.
I can't remember the last time I held you to my breast. I didn't know that would be my last feed. I can't remember the last time I picked you up - when did you get too heavy for that? You still climb on my lap - will today be the last?
Today I make a vow. Today I promise you this. Each cuddle, each story, each childish moment of fun I will treasure because I never know when it will be my last.